pick up line come backs

2007-04-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

Pickup Line ComebacksMan: "Haven't we met before?"Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."Man: "Is this seat empty?"Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"Man: "Your place or mine?"Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"Woman: "It's in the phone book."Man: "But I don't know your name."Woman: "That's in the phone book too."Man: "So what do you do for a living?"Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"Woman: "Do not Enter"Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"Woman: "Unfertilized !"Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"Man: "I know how to please a woman."Woman: "Then please leave me alone."Man: "I want to give myself to you."Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".Man: "Your body is like a temple."Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."Man: "I'd go through anything for you."Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

jokes guaranted to offend someone

2007-04-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

JOKES GUARANTEED TO OFFEND SOMEONE

Jokes Guaranteed To Offend Someone
Some are a bit risky....but I bet you will laugh!! At some level I know you are all pigs...Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not being retarded Q: What's blue and ****s old people? A: Hypothermia Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter? A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan. Q: What is the definition of "making love"? A: Something a woman does while a guy is f*cking her. Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common? A: They don't ****ing listen. Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts? A: Gonorrhoea Q: Why did God create yeast infections? A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating****once in a while too. Q. How can you tell a macho woman? A. She rolls her own tampons. Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep? A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister. Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson? A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old. Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A. Marry it. Q. What do you get when you cross two black people? A. Your ass kicked. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance? A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving. Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen? A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour. Q. Why do women call it PMS? A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken. Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy. Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party? A. The cake jumps out of the girl. Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak. Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob? A. You know she'll swallow. Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A. They don't want to wear out the camel. Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelery. Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime? A. When the big hand touches the little hand... Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house? A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time. Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick. Q. Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it's worth it.

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pick up line come backs

jokes guaranted to offend someone